Woman-Hours

It all started on that momentous day when on my routine ride to the office by our staff bus, I and my colleague were involved in solving the Daily Crossword. It is our agreement that I would attempt the ‘Across’ clues and he would attempt the ‘Down’ clues to start with. Then we would exchange the papers and I would fill the ‘across’ clues in his paper and vice versa. At this stage, we did encounter some road blocks. Some of my (across) guesses would not match well with his (down) guesses. We would then independently correct the answers and exchange the papers again. By the time we got down at the security gate and subjected ourselves to baggage and personal checks, we would have exhausted our individual attempts. After the security check we occupied adjacent seats and thrashed out the remaining clues jointly. It was one of those daily crossword rides when we got struck at the 21 ‘across’ clue which read: “Small needle of a homosapien’s watch lost during a factory strike (3, 5).” We both guessed almost at the same time and articulated in chorus: “Man Hours”!

This clue somehow distracted us into a serious discussion leaving aside the remaining clues of the crossword puzzle.

The debating issue was: “Why waste of time is always measured in man-hours even though the fairer sex also indulges in it?”

Let me willingly and honestly attempt to reveal the prejudice in the world. I devote my bandwidth in disclosing, exposing and discussing, the least talked about and one of the great taboo issues here: Woman-Hours. With the advent of broadband and the blog sites, I am sure there will be a greater need to write and talk about Woman-Hours.

Our conversation evoked response from the fellow passengers though not vocally but by their approving looks and nods.

People always harp upon man-hours and rarely talk about woman-hours. Has anybody given a serious thought as to how many woman-hours were lost due to Humlog, Buniyaad, Khandaan and the latest soap: Kyunki Saas bhi kabhi bahu thi.

Nay, never. Is it because of the up beat mood of women’s lib? Or that majority of the Adam folks have already been seduced to watch the idiot box? Men perhaps are the easiest species to seduce, right from the fig-leaf days.

Woman-hours was the topic of the day at office. One of our friends who was averse to the idiot box, lamented at the reintroduction of Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC) anchored by Shahrukh Khan. In his view, this programme had a serious impact on the dinner menu in every house. The ‘item-numbers’ on the dinner menu were neither alluring nor exciting anymore. The post dinner walks started proving to be ‘Gandhian’ walks, or ‘Satyagraha’ walks, he lamented…

He felt taking space walks alongside Sunita Williams would be a better option.
“It would achieve twin purposes. I will be spared of the idiot box and get an ideal setting for a “Walk and Talk!” he said.
Sunita are you hearing?!

Another friend had a dig at the whole hog of soap operas. He was particularly averse to Breakfast TV produced by most of the channels.
“Is it a lucky break?” he murmured to himself.
He was convinced that in days to come he had to choose either ‘Breakfast-or-TV’!

There were many who seconded his observation. The consensus was that the ‘Idiot-box’ is the chief contributor behind woman-hours.

“What woman-hours?” our theoretician friend queried adjusting his glasses.
My friend came out with a definition: “A domestic unit of ‘prime time engagement’, which is equal to TV viewing of one woman in an hour.”
My theoretician friend observed that astronomical distances are measured in light-years; on the same lines he suggested a change in the terminology from woman-hours to woman-years!! He said in a cajoling way: “Hey guys, there are 25x8 movie channels in the pipeline. You’ve nothing to lose except your breakfasts and a few items in your dinners”.

A week later we met a Doordarshan (DD) official and queried him on the wisdom of introduction of late night movies and beaming them across the country including the vast rural belt. We sought his advice as to how to reduce the viewing hours and stop telecasting late-night movies.

He spoke with assurance and nonchalance. “We eat too much. We drink too much. We sleep too much. We gossip too much” he thundered.
Our confidence was shaken..
Had we strummed the wrong string? , we thought. We were at the receiving end.
He went on with his harangue…
“Efficiency of a nation resides in the number of waking hours. A nation which is widest awake will come to the top.”
“Doordarshan”, he said, “will pursue its goals with an unflinching perseverance to keep the nation noisy and wakeful.”
“So you don’t object ‘Star TV’ invasion into our skies? “ , we queried.
Rising from his chair, he said: “Don’t go away. I’ll take a small break. ”

It was a welcome break for us as we were looking for an escape.
He returned earlier than we expected him to and saw us leaving. He swiftly brought us back to his desk and was ready to hurl his views at us.
Meanwhile his wife served us tea. Our friend enquired in a husband-like tenor: “No snacks?”
“I am watching ‘Big Boss’!”, she said curtly.
We interjected and said: “Don’t bother. Tea will do.”
While sipping the tea, his wife entered the room and was searching for the ‘TV-remote’. She located it. Her face was beaming on locating it.
My colleague, unable to contain his curiosity, asked her: “Madam, do you watch KBC?”
She said: “Of course, who will miss it?”
“If you win a good amount on KBC, how do you intend spending it?”
“If I could only buy an object, though there’s nothing I really need, I’d love to have a Sony TV with the widest possible screen!”
I murmured to myself, “Truly, ‘made for each other couple’. One is a transmitter and other a receiver!!”
I did not dare to ask her what she liked so much in soap operas.
I knew that the TV viewership ratings are only a measure of viewing behaviour and are not based on the quality of the programme per se. However, it is unreasonable to assume that there is no correlation whatsoever between the viewing behavior and the programme.

My friend who is intending to do her PhD was scouting fervently for ‘guides’ and ‘topics’? Isn’t ‘woman-hours’ an ideal topic? I earnestly hope that she would pick up the cue and her thesis would strive to answer the role of TV on woman-hours. I have a fond hope….

We thanked the couple for a nice cup of tea and for having shared their valuable time with us. Our host asked us: “…any last question?”

I asked him: “Well, do you think DD programmes as well as the other channel programs through cable network contribute to the huge chunk of Woman-Hours?”

He quipped: “Don’t bother about the TV viewership survey. It is loaded with gender bias and an improper sample by all means. The report says that majority of the woman viewers are in the age group of 25 to 35. The one who conducted the survey is perhaps not aware that women’s age remains static after 35.”

His wife was about to react …
As we were leaving the premises, our antennas could only pick up some feeble rants.

All is fair in the (day-to-day) reality game, I thought.